When Your Creative Juices Dry Up
I just recorded my 18th episode of the year for my show, Cat Unmuted. I’ve been doing this once a week and only skipped two weeks so far, since I started it on the first week of this year. One of those skips happened two weeks ago in May.
Honestly? I felt lazy. It was already the day before I was supposed to post, and I told myself I just wasn’t feeling it... and that was okay. So I decided not to force it and let the day pass without recording.
The week after, last week, I felt better and finally recorded. By then, I knew why I hadn’t been feeling it.
I hadn’t been feeling great. Not physically sick or exhausted exactly. I woke up rested. I went through my mornings normally. But the second I sat down to work on my projects, I felt stuck.
Is this what writer’s block feels like? Because I finally understand it.
I couldn’t get my creative juices going. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t focus on small upgrades to my website. I couldn’t even record, and all I had to do was talk. And if you know me, I have no problem talking.
Finally, I decided to take the day off.
That “thing” started on a Thursday. After trying to function and failing horribly, I decided to just stop trying for the day.
One day turned into two days.
Two days turned into four.
Four days turned into an entire week.
I ended up taking a week and a half off.
First of all, I have the luxury of doing this. I could take an entire month off if I wanted to. There’s nobody stopping me except me. I can be a nice boss and let myself rest when my creative juices are all dried up. Nothing wrong with that.
And honestly? I enjoyed it.
That very first Thursday night, I played Super Mario 3D World on our Nintendo Switch until midnight.
This would have been something I never would have allowed myself to do before because I have work to do, right?
But this time I said:
“I can do whatever the fuck I want to do, and nobody is going to care or say anything about it.”
So I did.
And guess what? I was tired as hell the next morning. I rolled out of bed a little later than usual, but somehow... I felt liberated.
I still felt blah, though, so I didn’t work that day either.
I let myself do whatever I felt like doing, which mostly involved hanging out in our backyard, watching the birds, staring at the pond and flowers, and talking to Josh. We sat out there for a couple of hours some days. Unless we had plans, we just did whatever.
And it felt really good.
A few days into all this, I finally realized what was happening.
I wasn’t sick. I wasn’t physically exhausted. Every day I kept telling Josh how weird it felt because this wasn’t exactly the first time this had happened. In the past, it usually came from burnout or overworking myself.
But this time felt different.
So what was it?
The answer finally came out while talking things through with Josh.
I started listing all the little things that had quietly become stressors.
Our house has officially been on the market for two months now, which means we’ve basically been living in “showing mode” nonstop. We do little cleanups every morning so sudden showings won’t become a huge ordeal.
One morning I finally looked at Josh and said:
“Let’s not clean today. Just once. I’m so tired of doing this.”
The house wasn’t messy, but we left it in a state where we definitely wouldn’t have shown it that day. I figured if we got a showing request, we’d deal with it then.
We didn’t.
Later that afternoon, I was explaining to him that I’m naturally optimistic. He already knows this about me. I’m still not panicking about selling the house.
But when you spend two months treating your house like it’s no longer yours... it starts messing with your head.
You keep the walls mostly bare so buyers can picture their things there instead of yours.
You constantly clean.
You stay ready.
You live in transition mode.
And transition mode is mentally exhausting.
I even had an entire dream about it.
In the dream, I was constantly traveling. Moving through places that weren’t mine. Walking through spaces where I didn’t belong. Searching through a mall for someone or something. Every part of the dream represented transition in one form or another.
Even my subconscious was waving a giant flag at me.
No wonder my creative juices disappeared.
Honestly, I’m really glad I gave myself grace, space, and freedom instead of forcing myself to push through it.
It’s now been two weeks, and the only thing I did last week was record an episode. This week, I’m writing this newsletter.
That’s it.
I didn’t drag my tired ass through the mud trying to force productivity.
The way I see it, I’m replenishing my energy and creativity. My body will let me know when I’m ready to jump back into everything.
And when that time comes, I’ll dive back into all the things sitting on my to-do list:
My 4th and 5th books
A speech I’m writing for a nonprofit (more details next newsletter 👀)
Talking points and recordings for a companion resource that goes along with the self-guided workshop I finished creating right before I lost my creative high
For now, I’m doing little things here and there.
And honestly? That’s enough.
Stay tuned for all the new things coming soon.
One last thing:
Cat Unmuted is my podcast and YouTube show where I talk openly about life, transition, healing, growth, and the messy middle of becoming who you’re meant to be. Right now, a lot of the episodes are centered around my own experiences and reflections as I navigate this season of life, but soon I’ll also be inviting guests onto the show. The topics will vary from episode to episode, but at the core of it all will be real conversations about hardship, resilience, and the growth that can happen when we find the courage to move through difficult things instead of around them.
